Detty's Halloween Ramblings

Some rights reserved by ChicagoGeekTrick or treat!

Here's my list of the types of houses you encounter while trick-or-treating…if my memory serves me correctly.

The Friendly-decorated Neighbor: Probably the most common.  This house buys all the friendly looking ornaments from craft stores and orchards.  Your standard non-scary decorations.  Open the door to find a kind couple handing out anything from candy to popcorn to candy apples to pennies.

The Dedicated to Scaring Children Neighbor: This house is terrifying from the outside.  Black lights are hung everywhere, there’s a figure on the porch that you just know will jolt once you get up there. From the music blaring inside and out, you know this one’s bad news.  Once you muster up the courage, it doesn’t get any better.  The owners are dressed up and ready to scare.  They give you candy, but it wasn’t worth all the stress.

The We’re Not Home Neighbor:  These jerks didn’t even buy a pumpkin for their stoop.  No lights on and most likely actually not home.   Disgraceful.

The We’re Not Home But Eat From Our Bowl Neighbor:  You know these people.  They went pretty light on the decorations because they knew they weren’t going to be around.  But since they felt bad they left you a bowl of candy! Aaaand there’s none left.

The Dedicated to Scaring Children (halfway) Neighbor: This was always my favorite. It was creepy on the outside.  Same as the full-blown, but once you get to the door the neighbor was in his sweats and ready to just give you candy.  Way to go, guy!

And finally, my other personal favorite…

The Come On In, We’re Friendly Right? Neighbor:  This is by far the rarest house, but they exist.  And when you run into them you can’t help but appreciate the dedication.  These people decorate like the “Friendly-decorated Neighbor.”  Corn stalks on the lamp post, wooden pumpkins scattered on the lawn.  It’s all deception though.  Turns out that happy scarecrow on the porch is Old Man Miller, and he’s got a knife!  These people catch you at your most vulnerable.  And I love it.

Which house should I be?

Comments

[Nick Carraway]

You forgot one more....the scariest house of all. It's just like the "Come on in we're friendly" house, except that when you enter the door, the scariest thing is not Old Man Miller with a knife...It's that the whole house smells...really,really bad. I like to call this terrifying trick or treat experience the "Stinky Wet Dog House", and if you make the mistake of going there, the trick is on you!

Seriously though, you seem like you'd feel most comfortable being the halfway dedicated to scaring kind of house...not too much pressure for your first Halloween. I'd wear a scary mask and sweat pants, and if any kids make fun of you then give them pennies or dollar off coupons to McDonalds. That'll teach em not to disrespect your thoughtful, but still half assed halloween effort...

[chew]

What type of house do you think the people who stick razor blades in the candy have?

[James Dugan]

Great post but I have found a new creation. The house with adults who are sitting outside drinking beers around a small grill fire. They have music playing with seven of their closest friends just enjoying the Fall night. They have candy for the kids but have made a party of it. I was even at a place last year that offered the adults jello shots. Now I know many holidays have gotten more commercialized, but this new type Halloween house just celebrating for basically no reason in the middle of the week is a great evolution for the holiday.

Thanks for the lunch.