I have been alive for thirty-four years and I have never lost a single article of clothing to a moth. Has anyone? Really, the more I think about it, I have never heard one person complain of a moth infestation or voice a concern about the possibility of his or her wardrobe being decimated by moths. So, if this is the case, why does everyone know what a mothball smells like? I know that most of us recognize the smell of mothballs because we had a grandparent who thought that they were a good idea. But, who in their right mind was so ever worried about their clothes that they would rather have them emit an intolerable odor than have holes in them? Is it a generational thing, like a Depression- Era save everything at any cost type mentality, or as we age, do we develop a fondness for the smell of mothballs? Maybe old people are so hell bent on preserving their past that mothballs sort of serve as a formaldehyde for their good linens and fine flannels. I really have no idea, but recently mothballs have made a mockery of my life, and I hate them.
I am sensible to a fault. I do not waste money. I guess, like a Depression-Era old person, I do not like to buy things that are not going to last. For the past two years, I have been trying to buy good, old solid wood bedroom furniture. I have looked in stores, but everything today is made of particle board and will not last, so I do not want to waste my money on it. Last week, my aunt called to tell me that my uncle’s friend had passed away, and his daughter was selling all of his furniture. She asked if I was interested in looking at the bedroom set. I said yes, went to look at it, and was completely thrilled that I finally found good, old walnut furniture. I paid for it, brought it home, and, within in an hour, was in tears because once again my common sense got me nowhere. When the furniture was in my house, I realized that every drawer reeked like mothballs.
I went on-line to see if there was any way that I could salvage the furniture, but almost every website said, “Try this but it does not really work.” I made my husband call the lady to see if we could return the furniture and get our money back, but she politely said, “You can’t be serious.” So, it seems that I am stuck with furniture that I can’t use unless I want my underwear to smell like the chemical naphthalene. I spent $900 of my savings on the wasted notion of sensibility, and it got me durable, mothball-compromised walnut.
Excuse me while I indulge in a pity party, but this just sucks. The best laid plans and blah, blah, blah offer me no comfort right now because I am broke. I did not have the money to spend, but my common sense told me to buy it because it was a good investment. I most likely would never have to buy bedroom furniture again. I keep hearing Suze Orman’s voice in the back of my head scolding me about my wants and my needs, but I just want to hurt her right now. I bet Suze Orman does not have to worry about preserving her investments with mothballs.
I am tired of struggling financially. I have had to struggle my entire life, and I have had enough. I am tired of hand-me-downs and doing without. I want to indulge. I want to, for once, not do the right thing and see what happens. I want to go to Raymour and Flanagan and buy really trendy junk. I want to open a line of credit and not pay interest until 2013. I want, I want, I want. Do you hear me Suze, I want, and I am not going to feel bad about it either.
I think that the economy has driven me to this point. I never have felt this negative in my adult life. I used to always believe that it would get better, that I would eventually be comfortable. I am not so sure anymore. I see a lifetime of financial struggle ahead of me, and it makes me want to act carelessly because, in the end, I will be in debt anyway. Why shouldn’t I have something beautiful from the Cindy Crawford collection to make me happy in the mean time? Why should I always be saving for a rainy day when it feels like it always raining? Who really has eight months of reserve funds? I don’t, I never have had it and I most likely never will.
But, I want to. No matter how frustrated I feel right now, I know that I am my father’s daughter. I believe that it is morally wrong to waste money. I will always strive to be financially secure for my family. Even if I have weak moments at Target, and I buy Tide instead of a cheaper laundry detergent, I know that I will never give in to a more expensive shopping spree. Even if I successfully make it through these tough economic times, I know that it will not change me. I will always be frugal. I just truly hope that I never begin to think that mothballs are a good idea.