A Rose by Any Other Name
April MaeWhy are so many men completely repulsed by Rosie O'Donnell? Inevitably, if her name is brought up around a group of men, most will respond the same way. Unmistakable looks of disgust will come over their faces, and at least one of them will utter, "Fat pig."
This fascinates me. Why does just the mention of her name elicit such a strong reaction from men? Is it because she is overweight? Is it because she is a radical liberal? Is it because she is a lesbian? None of these answers seem to justify the average man's loathing of her - especially her sexual orientation. Most men are intrigued by lesbians to the point of distraction. So, do men hate Rosie because her sexuality intrudes upon their fantasies in which all lesbians are beautiful?
Or, could it be something that men find much more offensive? Could it be that Rosie O'Donnell is unapologetic for being a loud opinionated woman? This is the only conclusion that makes any sense to me. She is the embodiment of all things that men consider unfeminine, and in turn, men are disgusted by her. She runs her mouth. She is in your face. She lives her life by her own rules. She does not need a man.
Whether it is Rosie O"Donnell or any other loud opinionated woman, men seem to be horrified by any female who has the audacity to act like a man. Men do not like a woman who will stand up to the likes of Magnum PI or Donald Trump and question their manhood. Whether they will ever admit it or not, men do not like assertive women. I think men view Rosie's behavior as immodest, and a woman is nothing without her modesty.
I guess this topic is personal for me because Rosie got me through the toughest year of my life. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, my mother died. That year, I was home alone with two kids, and I missed my mom so much I could barely function. As embarrassing as it is to admit, the thing that got me through that year was Rosie's Blog. She was my stranger-friend. Everyday, I would blog on her site, and she even answered me a few times. She is the one who told me to get out of bed and take a shower. She is the one who showed me what a life dedicated to to kindness and charity looks like. She is the one who reminded me that karma does exist. Maybe it was the bond of being motherless mothers that made me feel connected to her. Maybe it was the impersonal means of getting the therapy that I needed without having to admit that I needed it. Or maybe, it was just that I was so desperate for something to fill the void left by my mother that I pathetically turned to a celebrity to heal my wounds. All I know is that she was there for me even though she did not need to be. She was the only person at that time in my life who did not make me feel alone.
Rosie, like many assertive, loud opinionated women I know, give of themselves entirely without expecting anything in return. Yes, they are in your face, but why are men so intimidated by that? Is it because, although men view these women as too masculine, they actually suspect that these "butch" ladies are superior to them?
Whatever the case, I know a good woman when I see one. I cannot say the same thing about a man. I have never known a man who does not drink too much. I have never known a man who has not compromised his morality for sex. I have never known a man who, in his words or in his actions, has not resorted to violence when he feels threatened. I have never known a man who has not walked out, whether it be for a while or for good, when the going got tough.
I know my Ro. I have complete confidence in her goodness. I have never met a man about whom I could say the same thing.
Reader Comments (2)
<p>Good first post. I agree with you on many points. First is that I hate Rosie O'Donnell. Not really for any reasons like the ones you mentioned, except probably that she's a radical liberal. I used to like her when she had her own show and was pretty much non-political. But when she went on the view and used it as a pulpit to compare US troops to terrorists, attack Christianity and the Catholic church, and basically bully Elisabeth Hasselbeck until Rosie was forced to leave the show, I stopped liking her.</p><p>I know she has been a positive influence on a lot of people, but since her blow-up on The View, she is just another egotistical Hollywood bully to me. If your definition of men is that they're all bullies, then the difference between them and Rosie is slim. I don't say that because she intimidates me or I'm afraid of her superiority. On the contrary, I think most bullies have an inferiority complex, so they take their problems out on others who are different from them. So, you are correct in saying that some men may see Rosie's strong, outside-the-mainstream personality as an easy target for their inferiority issues. But let's not pretend that she is some kind of saint immune to the same problems.</p>
<p>If there is a Rosie fan club, you are the president. We welcome you with your fanatastic generalizations of men. Bring it on, young April Mae. I like Rosie, but I learned about her as a comedian. She was funny and blunt, but when she became an activist, though she does stick up for many who do not have a voice in our society, I always thought she was being something more than I first accepted her for being. She recreated herself and used her celebrity to expose discrimination. She does what she thinks is right and she is a liberal. Her embodiment makes us uncomfortable for our own inherent discriminations. Her presence makes us better and not many, men or women, can make us stare at our failures without challenge. If we don't, then she may be right.</p>